As I feel my body come back to life, there is fear. Why is there sadness and fear as I release this dis-ease? I want to let it go completely but in shedding it I will never be the same again. Every time it goes to leave my body, the emotions along with it flood through me but no longer stick. I let them leave. It’s been a part of me a long time and at this point I have accepted and befriended it but it’s time to let it go. You’d think I was scared to let it go completely – perhaps I am. It’s shown me that I am loved and supported more than I ever have known. It has shown me that I am strong enough to make it through hell and back. A bit will live in my hands forever as a reminder. I will never go back to where I was and what I was. The path forward is unknown. But I’m ready for this new chapter and where it takes me. It is time to accept that I can be loved, for real this time, to trust someone to be there alongside me. It’s time for me to not retreat in fear or cling to things that don’t serve me out of fear. It’s time to venture into new lands I have not walked before – lands of peace, support, love, stability, flow, and hope. You have been my friend and my enemy but it is time to say goodbye – I need to be strong again. Go back to the source where you originated – I thank you for the gifts you have given me.
Goodbye dear dis-ease
February 9th, 2018Perfect day
January 15th, 2018Do you ever have one of those days when you feel like life is perfect? Today the world was so beautiful, the sun was shining, the air was warm. Looking out at the sound and the mountains in all directions. I laughed with someone I love. My body is healing, I’m doing the impossible, the world is a mystery to me, but beyond any doubt I will beat this. Where I go after that? Something new, more helping people. A chapter in my life is ending and a new one is beginning. Dare I think that things might actually get even better than this? Yes.
It takes a man
January 6th, 2018How is it?
December 31st, 2017Wonder
December 27th, 2017Heart opening from a land, not here. Magical beings who know have to perform miracles better than me. Once I thought I knew something, today I know it is just a small part of the story. The story unfolds one piece at a time, so beautifully put together that it’s impossible not to pause in wonder. A rose with a thousand petals that come together in a perfectly imperfect way to open the path to joy. God’s hand gently placed on the earth to guide us as everything comes to the surface to be cleansed and healed.
Eternal Flame
December 23rd, 2017Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Is this burning an eternal flame
I believe it’s meant to be, darling
I watch you when you are sleeping
You belong with me
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame
Say my name sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
And then you come and ease the pain
I don’t want to lose this feeling
Stranger than fiction
December 23rd, 2017The world is a truly bizarre place so much more than can even be imagined.
Strange Girl
December 21st, 2017It was an old song,
From “Kiss me, Kiss me, Kiss me” that she sang.
It was an old line,
I kept with me, with me, with me when she rang
You’re such a strange girl,
You’re such a strange, strange girl.
You’re such a strange girl.
It’s all been embraced (?)
Everyone is telling me,
It’s slightly deranged,
Everyone is telling me.
We traded blindness for wisdom
And some lines around the eyes.
But you just act like it was a fact of life
It didn’t come as a surprise.
You’re such a strange girl,
You’re such a strange, strange girl.
You’re such a strange girl.
And no you can’t ever go home.
Everything has changed and the people are gone.
So close your eyes and summon up the song
And you feel your life falling under you like a slide
Like a slide
It was an old song,
I once knew every note and every line.
It was a long night,
When I carried you and you carried me for a time.
You’re such a strange girl,
You’re such a strange, strange girl.
You’re such a strange girl.
It’s all been embraced (?)
Everyone is telling me,
It’s slightly deranged,
Everyone is telling me.
I dreamt of your face
And what the song was telling me
For time has made it all obscene
And trapped us in our dreams