Goodbye dear dis-ease

As I feel my body come back to life, there is fear. Why is there sadness and fear as I release this dis-ease? I want to let it go completely but in shedding it I will never be the same again. Every time it goes to leave my body, the emotions along with it flood through me but no longer stick. I let them leave. It’s been a part of me a long time and at this point I have accepted and befriended it but it’s time to let it go. You’d think I was scared to let it go completely – perhaps I am. It’s shown me that I am loved and supported more than I ever have known. It has shown me that I am strong enough to make it through hell and back. A bit will live in my hands forever as a reminder. I will never go back to where I was and what I was. The path forward is unknown. But I’m ready for this new chapter and where it takes me. It is time to accept that I can be loved, for real this time, to trust someone to be there alongside me. It’s time for me to not retreat in fear or cling to things that don’t serve me out of fear. It’s time to venture into new lands I have not walked before – lands of peace, support, love, stability, flow, and hope. You have been my friend and my enemy but it is time to say goodbye – I need to be strong again. Go back to the source where you originated – I thank you for the gifts you have given me.

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